So, why is it that whenever I think about these ads, that old "piña colada" song by Rupert Holmes gets stuck in my head? It's not that I necessarily enjoy listening to that 70's soft rock classic... but it's not that bad of a tune. There certainly are worse songs from the 70's, but I digress....... 1].  I don't drink, so I won't be drinking any piña coladas anytime soon... no champagne, either. Why don't I drink? Good question… Years ago, I woke up and realized it had been several months since I'd last consumed any alcohol. I decided that I'd try a lil' experiment, just to see how long I could go without booze. After a while, I sort of forgot about the reasons for not drinking…. its been about 12 years and I still haven't touched a drop. 2].  Getting caught in the rain? Well, I can say that this would depend on the circumstances.... If I was with someone special, maybe it'd be kind of fun to be out splashing around. When I was a , I did like to spend the night out in the hay barn listening to the summer rainstorms beat down on the tin roof.... and thoroughly enjoyed the thunder that darn near rattled that tin roof off! 3].  Yoga? Well, I will have to admit that I am in lousy shape.... and I am a bit of a couch potato, so me an' ol' yoga are not exactly on first name basis, so to speak. I know I should eat healthier, but it's tough. I have lost weight recently.... quite a bit, actually…. but I've got a lot more to lose. 4]. As to this have half a brain business..... well, I guess I do have the brain part covered. The Mensa membership card in my wallet tells me so.... although, for what it's worth, that membership doesn't really mean much. I've met lots of supposed "smart people" without a lick of sense... I just hope I'm not one of those. 5]. Making love at midnight on the dunes of the cape? Huh?….. Since I live in Duluth, I do have some dunes to play on.... there is some nice sand down on Park Point, but it's posted that the beaches are closed at 10pm, so we would have to sneak.... or go over to Wisconsin Point, where I think there isn't any closing time. 6]. A bar called "O'Malley's"..... I don't know of any bar with this name. Since I'm not a drinker, I'd probably skip the bar. So, a dumb song that is stuck in my head...... Someday I might have to really put some effort into this profile… It's just that I really have no clue about what I'm looking for…… So, what exactly are you supposed to do when you don't want to write (or even have a clue on WHAT to write?) Set an egg timer for one hour (or half hour) and sit down and force myself to contemplate this ad until the timer rings? Maybe, instead of that egg timer, I should put a load of clothes in the washer and use them to time my work on this ad. Alternating the thoughtful task of writing this ad with the mindless drudgery of doing my laundry will give me the breaks I need for new ideas and insights to occur. If I can't figure out what to write in here maybe I should clean my toilet. Change the bed sheets. For Christ sakes, dust my computer. An idea will come..... I hope. Before I sat down to write a this ad, I should have mulled it over in my mind so I knew the purpose of what I am doing here. What exactly am I looking for? What do I want to accomplish here? How will this all turn out for me? I shouldn't have bellied up to this boring, dusty computer without something in mind. I really shouldn't make my reader slog through an ad in which little or nothing happens. What kind of women will bother to respond? It could be that I just need to allow myself to not really know what I am trying to do in here. I shouldn't rush or force the ending of a personals ad........ So, until I can figure out something better............................ ========================= I still haven't figured out something better, so I guess I'll just toss out some bullet points while I have my Powerbook open. • I can cook (and not just on a grill, either.) • I can use jumper cables to start a car. • I love dogs, especially large ones. • I love (even the little tiny ones that are often oh so terrifying.) • I open the door for women (without being told to, even!) because my mother told me it is what a gentleman does. • I have a good set of tools, and even better.... I know how to use them. I can build things... from an end table to an entire home. • I know how to listen. • I can just about always point towards the north. • I will, if the need arises, ask for directions. • I am a member of Minnesota Mensa. • I know a lot of useless shit.... and have never lost a trivia game. • I know just enough to know that I don't know everything. • I can even tell you when I am wrong. • I can apologize when I fuck things up (which I do, unfortunately, quite often.) • I watch a lot.... Television, Movies, People on the streets. • I always try to tell the truth. • I am, however, willing to say that telling the truth is not always easy. • I am very curious. • I am occasionally funny (mostly by accident.) • I tend to swallow a lot of aggression, along with a lot of pizza. • I have been accused of having "bottomless cynicism," when discussing politics. • I think Rush Limbaugh is a complete asshole. • I feel the same way toward Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter and Glenn Beck. • I used to fantasize about Mrs. Cunningham from "Happy Days" when I was younger. • I think that Giada De Laurentiis (from the Food Network) has nice tits.... and an enormous melon. • I am a big fan of cleavage.

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Rimming, Fetishes, Role Playing, Mutual Masturbation, Voyeurism, Latex, Massage

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.

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